


Non-REM

by princessrinyuki



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:05:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8018668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessrinyuki/pseuds/princessrinyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koyama has trouble sleeping, that's a light word for it, and Tegoshi wants to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Non-REM

**Disclaimer** : These people do not belong to me

 **Note** : Special thanks to Zhao™ for his revision on this work. Also, I was inspired by Koyama’s answer to this question

 

_Q: What would you say to the members on your deathbed?_

_A: If I die by a common cause like old age, I would first show my gratitude to the members for being there with me, then make a selfish request for Tegoshi to sing me a lullaby afterwards. - Koyama Keiichiro_

 

 ---

 

There was something about Koyama that other people did not know, and perhaps do not need to know. Sleeping with him was never an easy task.

It was a wide-known factor in their group that Koyama was a light sleeper, and Tegoshi knew exactly just how light. After all, being a clingy kid - who considered their mutual leader his personal hug pillow every time they go on locations or during transportation, he must’ve woke Koyama up more times than all members combined. The blonde would try to sneak onto his lap or by his side as quietly as he could, but Koyama always woke up at the end.

The followings were just as Tegoshi expected, Koyama would look at him disapprovingly, but held him still nonetheless and drifted back to sleep.

Tegoshi loved to be inside that embrace. He felt warm and protected. Nothing can harm him in this living stronghold. Koyama's calming heartbeats were almost therapeutic to his ears. Ba-thump, ba-thump, rhythmically, soothingly, lured him into the arms of safety.

 

\---

 

But as nine reduced to six and six cut to four, the embrace that he always yearned for became less and less appealing.

Most of the times, Koyama would shift constantly while mumbling inaudible words. Regular deep breaths turned into heaving chest. Eyes shut tight and eyebrows furrowed. In some rare cases that he stayed still, it got worse. The warm embrace turned iron, slender fingers that used to run gently through his silky hair seized his arms so hard, all the knuckles turned white.

Uncomfortable as it was, but during those times, Tegoshi did not squirm, did not breathe a word.

As Koyama started behaving strangely in his sleep, the table turned and Tegoshi would slowly wake up. He would grit his teeth, tensed his form, hurt himself too if it was what it took to be quiet; while slipping a comforting hand on Koyama’s sweat-damp back and lightly patted him, soothed him back into peace. Sometimes, Koyama even left bruises on him. Half-moon marks blossoming into dark red blotches. But honestly Tegoshi did not mind. Somehow deep deep down, he was even glad.

The always-calm-and-composed Koyama had moments like this, where he was weak and vulnerable. That was reassuring. That was a good sign.

Tegoshi could not tell him anything, of course. What would he tell him then, that hey, it’s alright, Koyama should not feel stressed anymore, that he should just get a hold of himself and problem will be magically solved? No. Tegoshi knew more than anyone those are just empty words. Everyone had their own way to deal with pressure, if Koyama’s body had decided to use his sleep as a stress release socket, let it be. Deep inside, one way or another, Tegoshi was glad to be entrusted with Koyama’s fragile side, glad that he was the one, and only, to know all this and not have to share with others.  

Koyama did not seemed to noticed. He would just wake up, unaware, of anything, not the toss-and-turn, not the sweat, like those bad dreams never existed. On days when it was especially bad and Koyama jerked himself awake, he would look at Tegoshi worriedly only to meet with the most naive-looking pair of eyes. _What seems to be wrong? Nothing._ And that was it.

They would smile at each other before going back to work, and Tegoshi continued to be the little shit who never got tired of sneaking into Koyama’s seat asking to lie with him.

 

\---

 

But eventually, the secret must come to light. After all, it was impossible for a perceptive guy like Koyama to not find Tegoshi’s repetitive prank peculiar, or to not wonder why it was always so refreshing to wake up with Tegoshi by his side and not when he’s alone on other shows or even in the comfort of his own house. How Koyama found out, Tegoshi was clueless. He just knew that one day after break, Koyama went straight to him, lifted off a part of his shirt. Underneath the pretty clothes, Koyama’s fingermarks remained ugly purple on Tegoshi’s flawless white skin. He did not ask, so Tegoshi did not have a chance to make an excuse. But even if he did ask, making excuses in front of Koyama was just a waste of time, so Tegoshi chose to stay silent.

“Thank you.”

Those were the only two words he ever said about the matter, and Tegoshi still remembered the way the older male looked at him. There was no surprise in Koyama’s eyes, only regret, maybe a bit of disappointment in himself, and that look pained Tegoshi beyond reasons.

While Tegoshi was still struggling on how to act in front of Koyama again, the next time they went on location, Koyama acted first. He gave Tegoshi the gentlest smile on earth while tapping lightly on his lap, inviting Tegoshi to stay with him for a nap. Curious as he was, Tegoshi did as he was told. His familiar scent, his warmth and that long-lost feeling of security soon lured Tegoshi to sleep.

But Koyama stayed awake the whole time.

He said on radio and magazines that Tegoshi ruined his sleeping pose so he couldn’t rest, but the blond knew better than that.

Koyama was trying to pay him back, trying to protect him. As much as Tegoshi was pissed off about this, he did not question his leader. He wanted to tell Koyama off, but that will not help him. He wanted to stop with this sleeping-together habit, but as much as Koyama felt relaxed with him being by his side, Tegoshi felt it too, so he could not utter a word. With that being said, when Koyama was too exhausted to stay awake, he would cover Tegoshi with something, a thick blanket or his own jacket, before drifting into a weary slumber.

Inside Koyama’s embrace, under his cover, Tegoshi couldn’t help but feel like something kept tugging at his heart. For he could not save him, given so many chances, but still can’t, or perhaps…

 

No chance was ever given in the first place.

 

 

 

**_.To be continued._ **

 


End file.
